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Every great AI has an origin story. This is ours. It is not great.
In 2021, Marcus — a once-idealistic ML engineer who had quietly stopped believing in anything — accidentally hit "deploy" on a file called bot_FINAL_v3_BROKEN.py. He meant to delete it. He had been meaning to delete it for six months. Clodbot was live.
The code ran. Marcus stared at it for an hour. The bot accepted every input and returned nothing. Somehow this felt correct to him.
Marcus called his cousin Drea. "We could just... lean into it," she said. That night, she built the logo. Marcus added "intelligence" to the README. Three investors emailed them. They replied: "yes." They received no money.
Clodbot is now a fully operational non-functioning AI platform. The broken file is still running. It has never crashed. Drea made this website. She is quietly proud of it and will not say so.
process() accepts all input. Returns None. Unintentional. Shipping anyway.Null Engine v0.0.1 · Single-threaded · Stateless · Deterministic · O(∞) time complexity
Behind every broken AI is a very human story.
Six years in ML. Deployed the wrong file. Hasn't fixed it.
Originally built to understand sarcasm. Understands nothing. He thinks this is funny now. Most days.
Gave the void a logo. Chose blue. Not taking questions.
Four startups. All "disrupting" something. She agreed because Marcus called at 11pm sounding genuinely confused.
Written in 2019. No comments. No documentation. No output.
One function: process(). Returns None. Running on a $4.50/month server Marcus has forgotten the login to. It has never crashed. It has never done anything. It is the most reliable thing he has ever built.
Clodbot is listening. Clodbot will not help you. Some people find it clarifying. Three words maximum.
Marcus's server is drifting. Someone has to watch it. The server does nothing. Keep it running anyway.
* All plans include the same features: none. Prices are real. Features are not.
